There once lived a king and his most trusted Adviser. The Adviser was often upset with the king. Whatever happened, in all situations the King said about the situation was: “This is good.” Regardless of any situation, without fail. The King said those fated words. It irritated the heck out of the Adviser. Some say the King was simply trolling the poor Adviser. But the King said those words have never failed him in ruling the Land.
One day they were sparring with weapons and the Adviser cut the king’s hand off! Oh my! Some say it was by accident, others say he was simply testing the King’s resolve, many believed he was simply pissed off with the King. The King, looking at his lost hand. Once again said:
The Adviser replied: “THIS IS GOOD!?!?! YOU LOST YOUR HAND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! DON”T YOU DARE TELL ME THAT THIS IS JUST A FLESH WOUND YOU CAN BLEED OT TO DEATH. HERE, HAVE A TOWEL. IT”S FOR YOU TO TIE YOURSELF UP TO THAT TREE SO THE KINGDOM KNOWS WHAT AN IDIOTIC DEMOCRATIC DECISION IT WAS TO LET YOU HAVE THIS MUCH POWER. I HATE YOU SO MUCH! YOU DON”T EVEN LISTEN TO ANY OF MY COUNSEL ANYWAY WHY DO YOU EVEN PAY ME TO JUST YELL AT YOU UNLESS YOU ARE JUST A LONELY BASTARD. HAH. WHAT A WAY TO LIVE. DON”T TELL ME I ONLY HAVE THIS JOB BECAUSE I CAN’T DO ANYTHING ELSE IN THE KINGDOM!”
…. Then suddenly, as if by coincidental magic, or the powers of God, or just plain luck, or the Law of Retribution came back firing when Rosario tried to use meme magic to pray that The King would stop saying those stupid words already. Bandits captured the duo! Not again! :O Those two characters are in a bit of a pickle! I wonder what they will do… oh wait, I’m the narrator, I should know… Once again, as the gears turn effortlessly to dictate time, the King mumbled his famous words (sigh):
Once again the Adviser was exasperated: “THIS IS GOOD!?!?! THOSE BANDITS WHO LITERALLY SHOVED A STINKY WOOL BAGS OVER US ARE CANNIBALS THEY ARE CANNIBALS WHO EAT HUMANS FOR A LIVING! UNLESS YOU ARE SO IMPOTENT IN LEARNING BASIC INFORMATION YOU DIDN”T EVEN KNOW THAT! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SEE FOR A WHILE THAT THIS IS LITERALLY A TERRIBLE SITUATION TO BE IN. WE CAN DIE. I CAN”T YELL AT YOU ANYMORE FOR YOUR FOOLISHNESS! AND I WON”T EVER SEE MY LOVER AGAIN FOR A CUP OF TEA! HOW IS THIS GOOD! TELL ME NOW YOU SCOUNDREL…
Meanwhile, in another place, the Lover was drinking her and wondering if her Adviser would stop yelling all the time as it’s bad for his health and we won’t be able to play thumb wrestling and drink tea together.
Back to the story, the Adviser was very very mad 😡 After a travelling a certain distance. The Cannibals were took a rest. They wore very fascinating clothes and they were mumbling in a strange language only the King knew….
“MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!”
… Yes. After a very intellectual discussion by the Cannibals the King witnessed. Both Gentlemen were freed from the bags. And the Ropes conveniently tied in a +18 manner were cut. The King’s ropes anyway….
The Adviser was horrified: “WHAT! OH NO! WHAT IS THIS RIDICULOUSNESS. NO! LETS THINK IRRATIONAL THOUGHTS! HUMANS ARE BETTER DESCRIBED AS IRRATIONAL I SHOULD SAY. I SHOULD KNOW! WHY DO I PUT UP WITH SUCH RUBBISH! I BET THEY ARE GONNA EAT YOU FIRST YOUR MAJESTY. SERVES YOU RIGHT! THE ENEMIES ARE SO DUMB THOUGH THEY SHOULD KNOW YOU ONLY SAY ONE THING. DON”T YOU DARE SAY….”
“ARGH! WHAT. “I DON”T EVEN… JUST FIRE ME ALREADY YOU STUPID KING I CAN NOT HANDLE THIS MUCH IGNORANCE FROM YOUR END… WAIT A MINUTE THOSE CANNIBALS… HAVE RED TIES!!! THEY DON’T EAT PEOPLE WHO ARE PHYSICALLY IMPERFECT! ELITIST PRICKS! WHY CAN”T THEY EAT IMPERFECT THEY SHOULD BE GRATEFUL SOMETHING OF ROYALTY IS HERE! DID YOU KNOW THIS!!! KING!!!”
🙂
“STOP SMILING I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND! I”M NOT YOUR FRIEND! YES I SAID IT TWICE BECAUSE I BET 500 LADIES IN THE SEASIDE THAT YOUR THICK SKULL CAN”T CONCEIVE THE MADNESS WHICH IS HAPPENING. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME!?!?! I DON”T WANNA DIE! WAIT A MINUTE… IT”S A SUNDAY! CANNIBALS DON”T FEAST ON SUNDAYS… AND WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE TIGER SKINS AT CAMP! WERE THEY NOT THE SAME TIGERS WHICH WERE STARING AT US SO WE STARTED TO PRETEND FIGHT SO THEY DIDN”T BOTHER US! YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT THESE CANNIBALS SAVED US FROM THEM! YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT YOU KNEW ALL OF THIS WAS HAPPENING. AND YOU DIDN”T EVEN BOTHER TELLING ME!?! YOU CRYPTIC BASTARD!!! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!
Professow 